the boy in my dream

This morning i woke up bathing on my on sweat....why you ask?...
…because I dreamt of something that made me sad, angry, happy and burdened. even though the story is not about me it really has an impact on me....okay...i'll try to tell the story but if i fail to have you experience the feelings within it.....i can only say "pasensyahan na lang mahirap magenglish "
In my dream i saw a little boy walking to school then the curious me followed him. He have his school bag on his back and a lunch box on his right hand. He walks happily and greets everyone he sees, the people, the animals, the trees, the flowers, and even the sky and the sun. While looking at him i notice that every after he greets somebody he has this very sad face that he hides from everybody, he makes sure's that no one will see him sad. I wonder why he wears that mask so i made up my mind to talk to him so i walked near to him but when i was about to ask him he looked at me and greet me goodmorning and again with the happy mask, after seeing him like that i lost my nerve and just continued on following him. suddenly he paused and then he looked up to the sky and then he started to sing a hymm that i had never heard, he sang in a very small and cunning voice that you can feel his emotions pouring out of his words. Here’s his simple yet meaningful words " the sun shines upon me though i cant feel the heat i suppose it should bring to me, i can see the light from above the skies that bring life and warmth to the people whom He cherish but why am i not able to feel the warmth. i stretch my arms trying to catch some of the light but i wonder why it passes trough my hand. hmmmmmmmm.... i am here walking under the sky that binds me and my beloved ones with no one to hold my hand or even to talk to. i sing this song to all of you, i ask the wind to carry it to you in my behalf, though we are far from each other at least we both stand under a one and the same sky." before he could stopped singing he tripped and fell. i was about to laugh but when i looked at him i thought laughing is the last thing i should do. i watched him standing and get nearer to the stone that caused him to tripped. then he picked the stone from the ground and talked to it. "you are so small yet you made me fall...hahaha...i suppose this is a proof that even the happiest or the most successful man would fall in just a snap if he didnt look to where he is walking. well...stone thank you for reminding me about this, i will always remember you and this....bye bye..." then he continued walking. after hearing his words i felt very immature because a child in that age can come up to a conclusion or shall i say he learned something in just a snap of experience. if only we, all people can be like this child there would be no problem....
After a few minutes he paused again and this time he is looking down to a very beautiful flower that grew in the small cracks on the road side. then he talked again " hello lovely flowers i hope you dont mind if i touch you a little, well i just want to feel your petals but dont worry i wont pull or cut you off, hmm...why you ask? well if i will cut you then there wont be other people to see your beauty, there wont be other people who will smile when they see you guys, its better this way right? if i let you stay there you can still bring happiness to those who feel lonely and sad...even though you guys are small i believe the fact that you can make people smile is a very big accomplishment. right?! and on the other hand why would i think of killing you if you are striving to live. you were not given a good soil and place to grow yet you still grew. i'm proud of you flower, you are so strong. you are living alone yet you bring happiness to others....well then thanks for making me happy, bye bye...."
haha...what a cheerful child i thought. then he continued walking again....this time he saw a beggar saying to the people that pass by that he is hungry and that he has nothing to eat, he has no money to buy food. seeing this, the kid walked nearer to the man and handed him his lunch box without having a second thought. the man immediately grabbed the box and then opened it. when he was about to start eating he looked at the boy and say thanks in a smiling face then asked the boy to eat with him, but the boy answered " man you are the one hungry, so you eat it, dont worry about me, i'm still young and strong. hehe....just eat it okay?..." after saying these words he sat beside the man and tell some stories that made the man laugh hard. they become friends in that very moment. in my mind i really like this kid because he be friends to anybody, without having a second thought he helps and talks to them. he is so kind. as if he is an ideal son, brother etc. but now to think about it, i know nothing about this kid i just follow him wherever he goes. while looking at him from the back i can feel his loneliness, that he is trying to cover with his smiles and laughter whenever he knows that there is someone watching him. he be friends to everybody to suppress this feeling of loneliness. though from the start i had a cheerful impression on him as times pass by, little by little i am entering his hidden world of loneliness. but whenever he smiles at me i feel the barriers of his world is getting stronger as though he doesnt want anyone to enter or more like he doesnt want anyone to feel what he is feeling all the time. as though he is protecting everybody.
Now that he is walking alone again the atmosphere that i was talking about a while ago is eating him again, its sad but i cant do anything. if i tried to talk to him he will just put on that happy mask again and it hurts me more. So here i am behind him, hehe...more or less i look like a stalker...
GROWLLLL!!! eh? what was that?..
When i look at him he is grabbing his stomach as if he is very hungry...."no...he really is hungry....this time i cant just hide i'll go and help him", and so i went...even though em still couple of meters away he already wore his mask, as i walk nearer to him em really feeling sad for him but like him i smiled setting my mood ironically. we chat for a while and during that time his happy mask never left his face. he stood straight as though he feels awesome. but the next thing that happened really made me panic and worried to death. he fainted right in front of me. without second thought i carried him to the nearest hospital.
Minutes and hours passed before the doctor came to talk to me. i hurriedly asked him about the boy's condition, he said he'll be fine and left right away. i had a question....why didnt the doctor asked about the boy's family?... why didnt he even asked me if we are related or not?...in my mind surely his family should know that he is here in the hospital. they should let them know about his condition even if he just fainted out of hunger.
With my questions as my reason i came to talk to the doctor himself and ask him to at least be more concerned to his patients and ask for their family. the answers that i recieved from the doctor are completely different from what i expected...he said that that child's family was murdered two years ago and he is the only survivor, the boy said that he was forced to watch his family being murdered and then the murderers just left him. He said that the boy have been carrying this burden since that moment. He hated his self for being unable to help his parents and two sisters. but he prefers to not show this to other people. According to the doctor he is currently living in an orphanage. The doctor knew him because he was the former family doctor of the child family.
after hearing this i felt bad, i cant leave this child alone in this world again and so i asked the doctor to let me be his guardian and i was granted the permission. When he was discharge from the hospital i asked him to live with me but i didnt talk about the burden he has been carrying. i just said that i like him a lot, he makes me laugh and happy... I processed all the papers that are needed to adopt him as my child after he agreed to what I offered to him. It surprised me a lot to have him agreed to what I wanted since he doesnt even know…we don’t know each other for now but I know that we will be able to open up to each other little by little like what normal families do…
boink!....hanggang jan lang….my brother suddenly popped up in my dream and then ordered me to make our breakfast…..grrrrrrrrrrr….wrong timing….
I wonder what happened to my dream after that…..