Friday, December 19, 2008

natural revenge

someday you'll regret leaving me
like i regretted loving you wholeheartedly

someday you'll chase after me
like i did back then

someday you'll cry for me
but i'll laugh like you did when i cried for you

someday you'll drown in pool of sadness and longing
like when you shoved me in grief

someday i'll have a better lover than you
like you'll never have someone better than me

Sunday, November 2, 2008

the boy in my dream

This morning i woke up bathing on my on sweat....why you ask?...
…because I dreamt of something that made me sad, angry, happy and burdened. even though the story is not about me it really has an impact on me....okay...i'll try to tell the story but if i fail to have you experience the feelings within it.....i can only say "pasensyahan na lang mahirap magenglish "
In my dream i saw a little boy walking to school then the curious me followed him. He have his school bag on his back and a lunch box on his right hand. He walks happily and greets everyone he sees, the people, the animals, the trees, the flowers, and even the sky and the sun. While looking at him i notice that every after he greets somebody he has this very sad face that he hides from everybody, he makes sure's that no one will see him sad. I wonder why he wears that mask so i made up my mind to talk to him so i walked near to him but when i was about to ask him he looked at me and greet me goodmorning and again with the happy mask, after seeing him like that i lost my nerve and just continued on following him. suddenly he paused and then he looked up to the sky and then he started to sing a hymm that i had never heard, he sang in a very small and cunning voice that you can feel his emotions pouring out of his words. Here’s his simple yet meaningful words " the sun shines upon me though i cant feel the heat i suppose it should bring to me, i can see the light from above the skies that bring life and warmth to the people whom He cherish but why am i not able to feel the warmth. i stretch my arms trying to catch some of the light but i wonder why it passes trough my hand. hmmmmmmmm.... i am here walking under the sky that binds me and my beloved ones with no one to hold my hand or even to talk to. i sing this song to all of you, i ask the wind to carry it to you in my behalf, though we are far from each other at least we both stand under a one and the same sky." before he could stopped singing he tripped and fell. i was about to laugh but when i looked at him i thought laughing is the last thing i should do. i watched him standing and get nearer to the stone that caused him to tripped. then he picked the stone from the ground and talked to it. "you are so small yet you made me fall...hahaha...i suppose this is a proof that even the happiest or the most successful man would fall in just a snap if he didnt look to where he is walking. well...stone thank you for reminding me about this, i will always remember you and this....bye bye..." then he continued walking. after hearing his words i felt very immature because a child in that age can come up to a conclusion or shall i say he learned something in just a snap of experience. if only we, all people can be like this child there would be no problem....
After a few minutes he paused again and this time he is looking down to a very beautiful flower that grew in the small cracks on the road side. then he talked again " hello lovely flowers i hope you dont mind if i touch you a little, well i just want to feel your petals but dont worry i wont pull or cut you off, hmm...why you ask? well if i will cut you then there wont be other people to see your beauty, there wont be other people who will smile when they see you guys, its better this way right? if i let you stay there you can still bring happiness to those who feel lonely and sad...even though you guys are small i believe the fact that you can make people smile is a very big accomplishment. right?! and on the other hand why would i think of killing you if you are striving to live. you were not given a good soil and place to grow yet you still grew. i'm proud of you flower, you are so strong. you are living alone yet you bring happiness to others....well then thanks for making me happy, bye bye...."
haha...what a cheerful child i thought. then he continued walking again....this time he saw a beggar saying to the people that pass by that he is hungry and that he has nothing to eat, he has no money to buy food. seeing this, the kid walked nearer to the man and handed him his lunch box without having a second thought. the man immediately grabbed the box and then opened it. when he was about to start eating he looked at the boy and say thanks in a smiling face then asked the boy to eat with him, but the boy answered " man you are the one hungry, so you eat it, dont worry about me, i'm still young and strong. hehe....just eat it okay?..." after saying these words he sat beside the man and tell some stories that made the man laugh hard. they become friends in that very moment. in my mind i really like this kid because he be friends to anybody, without having a second thought he helps and talks to them. he is so kind. as if he is an ideal son, brother etc. but now to think about it, i know nothing about this kid i just follow him wherever he goes. while looking at him from the back i can feel his loneliness, that he is trying to cover with his smiles and laughter whenever he knows that there is someone watching him. he be friends to everybody to suppress this feeling of loneliness. though from the start i had a cheerful impression on him as times pass by, little by little i am entering his hidden world of loneliness. but whenever he smiles at me i feel the barriers of his world is getting stronger as though he doesnt want anyone to enter or more like he doesnt want anyone to feel what he is feeling all the time. as though he is protecting everybody.
Now that he is walking alone again the atmosphere that i was talking about a while ago is eating him again, its sad but i cant do anything. if i tried to talk to him he will just put on that happy mask again and it hurts me more. So here i am behind him, hehe...more or less i look like a stalker...
GROWLLLL!!! eh? what was that?..
When i look at him he is grabbing his stomach as if he is very hungry...."no...he really is hungry....this time i cant just hide i'll go and help him", and so i went...even though em still couple of meters away he already wore his mask, as i walk nearer to him em really feeling sad for him but like him i smiled setting my mood ironically. we chat for a while and during that time his happy mask never left his face. he stood straight as though he feels awesome. but the next thing that happened really made me panic and worried to death. he fainted right in front of me. without second thought i carried him to the nearest hospital.
Minutes and hours passed before the doctor came to talk to me. i hurriedly asked him about the boy's condition, he said he'll be fine and left right away. i had a question....why didnt the doctor asked about the boy's family?... why didnt he even asked me if we are related or not?...in my mind surely his family should know that he is here in the hospital. they should let them know about his condition even if he just fainted out of hunger.
With my questions as my reason i came to talk to the doctor himself and ask him to at least be more concerned to his patients and ask for their family. the answers that i recieved from the doctor are completely different from what i expected...he said that that child's family was murdered two years ago and he is the only survivor, the boy said that he was forced to watch his family being murdered and then the murderers just left him. He said that the boy have been carrying this burden since that moment. He hated his self for being unable to help his parents and two sisters. but he prefers to not show this to other people. According to the doctor he is currently living in an orphanage. The doctor knew him because he was the former family doctor of the child family.
after hearing this i felt bad, i cant leave this child alone in this world again and so i asked the doctor to let me be his guardian and i was granted the permission. When he was discharge from the hospital i asked him to live with me but i didnt talk about the burden he has been carrying. i just said that i like him a lot, he makes me laugh and happy... I processed all the papers that are needed to adopt him as my child after he agreed to what I offered to him. It surprised me a lot to have him agreed to what I wanted since he doesnt even know…we don’t know each other for now but I know that we will be able to open up to each other little by little like what normal families do…
boink!....hanggang jan lang….my brother suddenly popped up in my dream and then ordered me to make our breakfast…..grrrrrrrrrrr….wrong timing….
I wonder what happened to my dream after that…..

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

i wish i'm just dreamin'

first time i saw you
i was a afraid to ask your name
for you might not answer
and...i might be embarassed in your eyes

first time i talked to you
i was afraid to touch you
for you might resist
and...i might be force to distance

and all of those first times
i wish i'm just dreamin
so it wont hurt this much

first time i touched you
i was afraid to kiss you
for you might hate me
and..i might never be able to touch you again

first time i kissed you
i was afraid to love you
for you might not love me in return
and my love would be in vain

when i started loving you
i was scared to lose you
for you might find another
and...i either die or live alone
in the world i made for just the two of us
i'm afraid my heart will just be beating just a ticking clock
and my life would mean nothing
...without you

and all of these first times
i wish i'm just dreamin
so it wont hurt this much

you alone who made me
feel this kind of
eternal emotion
leading me
to eternal suffering
because of....
longing to be with your arms
even for just a bit
just a little bit will do

i want to hear your voice again
saying that you love me
even if its just a lie
i'll deal with it myself

i want all those first times back,
to be back:
that i may feel your love again
your arms...
your kiss...
you...
but never...
oh! please...
but never to lose you again
please take me back...

when i die

everybody will die
isnt it?
you!
me!
and all of us

but then ,i have already accepted it
and so i wish to have a decent grave
but not filled with flowers
i want it surrounded by chairs
for my visitors
that even when im already gone
in this world of pain and sorrow
i can still welcome them
to where my memories are hidden
six feet under

at my funeral
i wish rain is always there
so that i will not hear anyones cry
i have done all for my blunders
and so i wont cry till i reach my next world

(sori,em not yet done with it,but i will surely edit this one day…)

challenge makes me stonger than before

as a person i do realize
that living in this world
has two main emotions
it is being happy
and sorrow/pain

but as i look backward
i saw my life filled with lots of pain
i simply smile
and talk to myself
“damn man you did it!”
coz with all that pages that
burst with pain
i made it
i have conquered the challenges

i can still remember
there was a time
when i almost
end my life
the good thing was
i saw the image of my creator
smiling,,,,
he really gave me another chance to live
maybe there’s more of me
that i need to see


…………………

there are many pages of life
its up to us if
we end it just because
of a simple cause

i'll lock myself inside me

i was a stubborn person back then
i dont listen to what others say
it just that i wanna do things on my own way

then there is one moment
when i met this girl
i didnt notice
she had already changed me
to a person i never imagined as me
i thank her for that

i keep thinking
how she did it
and when

these are questions that are never answered
coz she herself
dont know how she did it

we can just say that
its the love that changed me….

now…..
em lost again…
i wish there is still
someone willing to help me

i shed tears for a cause
i dont even know…

maybe its my soul that cries
coz i cant find myself..
how immature my soul is…


or sould i say i’m the one immature

haha….if i can only
bring the time back
i will keep myself locked
in a room and i’ll hide
the key in my heart so that
when im searching for myself
it wont be hard for me to find it….

love goes this way

this is a short story of a girl
who is always left by the ones she love

as a freshmen student
obviously there will have lots of suitors
she doesnt have any idea about being in a relationship
till a guy came her way
unexpectedly she fell for him

they spent months together
happy and inlove
and then the guy’s family
decided to migrate in other country
he didnt tell it to the girl

the guy never said his goodbye’s for her
when they left the country
frustrated and feeling sorry
the girl keep on waiting for the guy

two years after…

she met a stranger
since his boyfriend left her
she never smiled and laughed
but this stranger did it…
the helpless girl laughed as hard as she could
and…slowly the look of broken heart faded
then……..
the stranger left for work…
again without goodbye’s

every time one leaves
another will come
but as a fact nothing is absolute
all that exist will also fade

the girl in this story
keep on waiting for either of the two
but no one of them returned
until she married a guy
that waited for her for such a long time

sometimes we keep on waiting and searching
for someone that we thought is the one for us
we forgot to look on the other sides
thats why we waited for too long

what a love

A girl and guy were speeding over 100
mph on the road on a motorcycle...
Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too
scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
Girl hugs him
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put
it on yourself? Its bugging me...
In the paper the next day :-( A
motorcycle had crashed into a building
because of brake failure. Two people
were on it, but only one had survived.
The truth was that halfway down the
road, the guy realized that his brakes
broke, but he didn't want to let the
girl know. Instead, he had her say she
loved him & felt her hug him one last
time, then had her wear his helmet so
that she would live even though it
meant that he would die.
If there is anyone in life you love
this much, please send this. Forward
this to all your good friends on-line
to show them that you care.
NOW, make a wish about somthing you
would like to happen with you and
someone whom you REALLY care
about..........

Friday, October 17, 2008

my brother my executioner

I.BOOK DATA:
Title of the book: My brother, my executioner
Author: F. Sionil Jose
Publisher: Solidaridad Publishing House
Date Published: 2006
Number of pages: 192 pages


II. GENEALOGY
Luis was a illegitimate son of Don Vicente. Trining was his first degree cousin and also his lover. Ester was just a fling partner of Luis and also Trining’s classmate in school. Victor is Luis’s half brother.





III.LITERARY MAP


Baclaran Church, it is where Luis and Ester attended the midnight mass for Christmas.


Luis’s mansion in Manila.


This was one of the farms owned by Don Vicente at Sipnget.

IV.DESCRIPTION OF THE CHARACTERS
Luis – Mestizo type, tall with masculine body, very humble, kind and a very loving brother and son. He works as a writer-slash-editor in a three year old magazine owned by the Dantes’s Company. He is also the illegitimate son of Don Vicente.

Victor- Luis’s older half brother from his mother side. Dark skinned and is also tall. He is the type that is capable of living alone, very secretive person. He became the new leader of the Hukbalahap and is known as “Commander Victor”.

Trining- Luis’s cousin and wife. She is a very feminine, fine and seductive woman. She was sweet and intelligent. She had the beauty of a goddess. Eighteen at age and is a college student.

Don Vicente- is the father of Luis. Robust and obese as rich man always are. Wealthiest landowner in Sipnget, Rosales Pangasinan.



V.SUMMARY OF THE NOVEL

What started the events rolling?

The story deals with the 2 half brothers - Luis Asperri and Victor. Luis is the biological, but illegitimate son of Don Vicente Asperri, the wealthiest landowner in there. At a young age, Luis was taken by his father from his poor mother and his half-brother Vic (a nickname for Victor), who both lived in Sipnget, Rosales, Pangasinan. His father gave him all he needs. Luis studied at manila and became a writer and editor of a left-wing magazine. He often writes about issues about the peasants and sides to them.

How did the event progress?

When Luis returned to Sipnget for vacation after being unable to visit for years because of studying and then now because of work he visited his grandfather and his mother, but originally he decided to go back to visit his ailing father, Don Vicente. He planned to stay for weeks even for a month but then he suddenly changed his mind when he realized that the place had already changed a lot, his brother is not there and more over his mother and grand father has gone believing that his father and all the rich people should give up their wealth to the poor. He couldn’t take it. And, also there was the Hukbalahap which is against the Japanese and the elite’s--- he couldn’t take it anymore.
Before leaving first thing in the morning the next day he heard his father shout in surprise and when he ran to look after him he saw the window glass of his father’s room was broken and a stone wrapped in paper was on the floor, when his father picked it up and then read the message it says that “he should give all he has to those who deserves it better--- the poor.” Luis, stunned by what he saw was also wondering who did it. He kept thinking but only one suspect is fitted with the situation. It’s his brother Victor who is very best at using sling—sling was the best thing to use to throw a stone trough the mansion’s security. After that, Luis fled off back to manila and then there was a time that Victor came to him and asks for his support—just the same as to the message his father got, back to Sipnget.




What is the conflict of the story?

Thus, the brothers had different personalities, beliefs, views and status in life. They met again as both friends and foes. These are their misunderstandings as brothers. Luis considers himself liberal. He is against the goals of his brother which is to put down his status as a wealthy landowner for the benefit of the poor.

What is the climax of the story?
He returned to Rosales. He came home together with Trining, his female cousin, who studies in the convent. In order for the Asperris to preserve their wealth, Luis married Trining. After sometime, she got pregnant. But in manila, Luis also had an affair with his manager's daughter - Ester - which is also Trining's best friend. But because they quarreled one night, Ester disappeared and was found out to be dead. He then found out from his mother that his half-brother Victor became the commander of Hukbalahap (hukbong bayan laban sa mga hapon) which is against rich people and feudal landowners.

What is the resolution?
At the end of the story, Vic warned them about the Huks. He told him to leave the place. But they didn’t listen. Trining got shot and died. Luis then revenged and fought for his status and for the death of his wife.
VI.REACTION TO THE NOVEL
This story is a must read for everyone for it elaborates on the political structures and some aspects of the Philippine history. It is also somewhat similar to Jose Rizal's Noli me Tangere and el Filibusterismo. Reading it really requires full attention for them to be able to grasp the meaning of the story. Although the theme tackles more on political life of the rural people, readers can still be caught by romance in some chapters, particularly to Luis, and his affection for 2 women, Trining and Ester.
When Trining died I felt sorry for both the main character and her. As said Luis took revenge for his status and his wife so that settles it because I definitely like to have my revenge if it was me. Good for Luis he is elite so he didn’t feel so down and he had the power to do so.
I was surprised to read the incest situation in the novel I couldn’t bring myself to believe but the writer simply made it as if it was real. I fell thinking, are there many incest here in our country just to preserve their pure elite blood? I felt being more understanding to respect everyone’s choices for they have their own motives. My understanding of people’s motives has now been clear to me that everything has a cause and that cause might be good or bad but still we follow what we believe because we are humans we can decide for our own. While reading I found some Filipino values depicted in the novel and they we’re: the true love and respect of family members. Patience, dignity, disciplines and being responsible—they were all shown with great passion. From what I now observe in our system as Filipinos we must keep deep understanding between the poor and the rich. Now we have this border that keeps our world apart that sparks a revolution against each other. We must learn to understand, listen and share.

VII.BIOGRAPHY OF THE AUTHOR

F. Sionil José or in full Francisco Sionil José (born December 3, 1924) is one of the most widely-read Filipino writers in the English language. His novels and short stories depict the social underpinnings of class struggles and colonialism in Filipino society. José's works - written in English - have been translated into 22 languages, including Korean, Indonesian, Russian, Latvaian, Ukrainian, Dutch.

Childhood
José was born in Rosales, Pangasinan, the setting of many of his stories. He spent his childhood in Barrio Cabugawan, Rosales, where he first began to write. Jose was of Ilocano descent whose family had migrated to Pangasinan before his birth. Fleeing poverty, his forefathers traveled from Ilocos towards Cagayan Valley through the Santa Fe Trail. Like many migrant families, they brought their lifetime possessions with them, including uprooted molave posts of their old houses and their alsong, a stone mortar for pounding rice.
Life as a writer
José attended the University of Santo Tomas after World War II, but dropped out and plunged into writing and journalism in Manila. In subsequent years, he edited various literary and journalistic publications, started a publishing house, and founded the Philippine branch of PEN, an international organization for writers. José received numerous awards for his work. The Pretenders is his most popular novel, which is the story of one man's alienation from his poor background and the decadence of his wife's wealthy family. Throughout his career, José's writings espouse social justice and change to better the lives of average Filipino families. He is one of the most critically acclaimed Filipino authors internationally, although much underrated in his own country because of his authentic Filipino English and his anti-elite views. Sionil José also owns Solidaridad Bookshop, which is on Padre Faura Street in Ermita, Manila. The bookshop offers mostly hard-to-find books and Filipiniana reading materials. It is said to be one of the favorite haunts of many local writers.
Works
Rosales Saga novels
A five-novel series that spans three centuries of Philippine history, widely read around the world and translated into 22 languages
* Po-on (Dusk) (English, 1984)
* The Pretenders (1962)
* My Brother, My Executioner (1973)
* Mass (December 31, 1974)
* Tree (1978)
Original novels containing the Rosales Saga
* Dusk (Po-on) (1993)
* Don Vicente (1980) - Tree and My Brother, My Executioner combined in one book
* The Samsons
Other novels

* Gagamba (The Spider Man) (1991)
* Viajero (1993)
* Sin (1994)
* Ben Singkol (2001)
* Ermita
* Vibora! (2007)
* Sherds (2008)
Short story collection
* The God Stealer and Other Short Stories (2001)
* Puppy Love and Other Short Stories (March 15, 1998)
* Olvidon and Other Stories (1988) * Platinum: Ten Filipino Stories (1983) (now out of print, its stories are added to the new version of Olvidon and Other Stories)
* Waywaya: Eleven Filipino Short Stories (1980)
* Asian PEN Anthology (as editor) (1966)
* Short Story International (SSI): Tales by the World's Great Contemporary Writers (Unabridged, Volume 13, Number 75) (co-author, 1989)
Children's books
• The Molave and The Orchid (November 2004)

Verses
* Questions (1988)
Essays and non-fiction
* In Search of the Word (De La Salle University Press, March 15, 1998)
* We Filipinos: Our Moral Malaise, Our Heroic Heritage
* Soba, Senbei and Shibuya: A Memoir of Post-War Japan
* Heroes in the Attic, Termites in the Sala: Why We are Poor (2005)
* This I Believe: Gleanings from a Life in Literature (2006)
* Literature and Liberation (co-author) (1988)
In translation
* Po-on (Tagalog language, De La Salle University Press, 1998)
* Anochecer (Littera) (Spanish language, Maeva, October 2003)

In anthologies
* Tong (a short story from Brown River, White Ocean: An Anthology of Twentieth-Century Philippine Literature in English by Luis Francia, Rutgers University Press, August 1993
In film documentaries
* Francisco Sionil José - A Filipino Odyssey by Art Makosinski, 1996
Awards
* Ramon Magsaysay Memorial Awards for Journalism, Literature and Creative Communication Arts (1980)
* National Artist Award for Literature (2001)[8]
* Pablo Neruda Centennial Award (2004)
* Palanca Awards

smaller and smaller circles

I. Book data:

Title of the book : Smaller and smaller circles

By: F. H. Bantacan

Publisher: University of the Philippines Press

Date published: 2002

Number of pages: 198 pages

II. Genealogy

Lead by Father Gus Saenz , with the help of his former student and fellow forensic anthropologist Father Jerome Lucero, they track down and try to decipher the mind of a serial killer, Alex Carlos whom Atty.Benjamin Arcinas the head of the NBI investigating team that doesn’t believe that serial killer exists.

III. Description of the characters:

Father Gus Saenz represents the tall,mestizo,and ruggedly handsome priest you hope would not be in front of an altar in your wedding, but beside you instead. He is a product of an affluent, amiable family, iswell-educated, and witty.

Father Jerome Lucero is Father Gus’ former student, a forensic anthropologist, and his partner in solving the series of killings. He is much younger, but less likely to withhold his feelings when agitated or irritated.

Posing as a hindrance, the acting director of the police department is somehow a satire of the attention-seeking, media-loving police figure. He not only takes the case carelessly, but leads the people in the wrong direction just to make himself look good and seem in control of the case.Atty. Benjamin Arcinas.

Alex Carlosis the resident dentist-slash-serial killer in this fast-paced novel. He works in the mobile clinic that provides dental and medical check-ups in the Payatas area. It is there that he is given access to the undersized and undernourished boys he needs to fulfill his sick plan. His anger comes from being molested as a child by his PE teacher Mr. Gorospe. Unable to talk to his parents about the humiliating incident, and incapable of talking to any friends about his trauma, he grows up psychologically impaired and angry.

Summary of the novel

The Big Circle:

The story opens to Father Emil—a fellow priest and acquaintance to Father Gus and Father Jerome—finding a dead boy’s body dumped in the Payatas. A series of investigation has started, and over six bodies are already found suspiciously patterned to one another.Although, Father Gus and Father Jerome are eager and most likely sure about the crime being done by a serial killer, the lawyer who heads the NBI’s investigating team Atty. Benjamin Arcinas never believed in their theories.

The two priests pursued the investigations of the crimes. Double checking all the evidence left by the killer on the corpses especially the facts that he kills with precision and with symbols—he defaces his victims, and excises the genitals, signs that there is a sexual conflict and a need to rid off the identity of the kids.

Figuring out the goings-on of a psychologically disturbed killer, especially if he’s very good at hiding it, is fairly difficult. The sleuths go through some complicated twists in their quest to find truth and justice amidst the media-hungry personalities who don’t give much attention to the case.

Deciphering the crime isn’t easy…. they conducted investigations among the people of Payatas and also within the volunteer medical group members assigned there. They suspect that the killer is one of the men attending to the people’s health. They ended up researching the records of one of the dentists—Alex Carlos. They found out that Alex was molested by his homo PE. Teacher when he was still in elementary school at Payatas. And as a way of bringing out his revenge he kills boys at his age during the abuse. Father Gus together with the troop conducted an arrest. They cornered him inside the medical van. Father Gus got inside the van alone and he tried to convince Alex to surrender but before he could speak the killer had injured him using a medical blade many times. He dropped dead outside the van.

When Father Gus dropped dead outside the van the troop immediately came forward for rescue and when they saw Alex still holding the blade they shot him. Alex died. And Father Gus managed to escape death after the fatal injury. The two priests proved their theory and the crime was solved.

Reaction to the novel:

The novel is really great,at first I wasn’t really interested in it because of my first impression on the title but then, when I read the summary at the back I found my self reading it even before I could let the teacher check for it.

F.H. Bantacan’s way of writing is really good. It drags you deeper and deeper, as if as you continue reading you were already in the scene and yet nobody sees or notices your existence but you know what is happening, you can see everything and you can hear everything, whisper or thoughts, that are being left. Naturalistic dialogue that’s also contributed to the essence of the story, it made it like a true to life story.And last, but not the least, is how the published it—the book is handy so it’s more comfortable to read anywhere, anytime.

The novel was a thrilling detective story.

From reading the novel I got to the idea that, the antagonist seeks for justice like most of Filipinos (especially those who are under the poverty line). The police force only pays attention to those cases that will bring them media exposures, I believe this really happens to the kind of society we have now. Justice men should at least look to every case equally.

As a student I’m also an observer of the happenings in our country and I admit there have been many cases that I watched over the television that had been solved but it is also true that most of them are cases that involve high profile persons. The story opened my eyes to this kind of harassment that maybe a lot of people have been experiencing and yet they can’t talk about it to anybody so they tend to let it out trough killing/ violence. This novel changes my view of priest from stereotype to more exciting and analytic life of priest. I love reading books but previously I read only those that is written by foreign writers but after reading this novel I appreciate it a lot that I am convinced to read more and more Filipino books. My understanding towards people grew deeper and wider. I learned lot of things. The Filipino values that were depicted in this novel were the tight family ties- they continuously search for their love ones even though there’s a high possibility that they were dead already, warm family and loving- pictured in the family of Father Gus.

XII. Bibliography of the author:

F.H.Bantacan has a degree in broadcast communications and a master’s degree in Art studies, both from the University of the Philippines in Diliman. She worked asa policy researcher, broadcast journalist, web designer and musician, and is currently a business copy editor for theThe straits times in Singapore.She previously won a prize for her short story “Door 59” in the 1997 Palanca Awards, and her work has appeared in local magazines, as well as in online literary magazineWeb DelSol.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

fun IQ test

have you aver wondered of your IQ level?

here…take the following and lets see if you can beat me?….

em stupid you know?!…. try and beat me…do your best…

these quizzes are either,personality,IQ,stupidity test…hahaha

just copy paste the url’s here…..

http://www.links2love.com/quizzes/iq_test.htm (the fun IQ,personality test(and insanity test)whats your IQ?,try not to laugh too loud, you might mistaken as insane)

http://www.coolquiz.com/life/iq/index.asp?action=newgame (analyze this carefully,if not then you are the new member of the club….hahaha)
The Brain Test

Tickle’s free Brain Test is a personality test for any age, developed by PhDs to determine how your mind really works. You will discover which hemisphere of your brain is most dominant: The left hemisphere interprets details and reasoning, while the right hemisphere interprets information through visual or creative cues. Your test results can also indicate what kind of learner you are and give you ideas to think in new ways. Test your left and right brain now!

http://web.tickle.com/quizzes/show/3022

oh, by the way, this test says that the left hemisphere of my brain is more dominant than my right..hehe (evil laugh)….how about you?…

Myspace Quiz - Fun IQ test

try this….

….well…

…well…

em taking off for now….

see you next time….hope you like it…..

what a break?!

I always look forward to having lots of adventure or rather lots of challenges whenever semester break is being held…..but then until now my life is so boring….I keep doing same stuff every school break…..

Here’s my routine…..

I wake up at seven in the morning but when I still feel sleepy I take another thirty minutes nap and after that I’ll push my self to start the day….I crawl like a snake on the floor toward the kitchen to make coffee for my self since I live alone now, before I live with my two game addict brothers but then they moved out after getting a nice job. That time I don’t worry for my food because my brothers are quite good at cooking, they like cooking or should I say they love cooking, on the other hand I hate cooking I don’t even know how to cook rice—now that I’m on my own, new technology is really a big help for me, I’d say I thank you God for giving the human beings enough intelligence even if sometimes they don’t use it or maybe they never dare to use it, so that they may be able to develop such helpful things.

haha…maybe you wonder why I said “they never dare to use it” well…here’s my opinion…being intelligent is cool but like what movie heroes says “with great powers comes great responsibility”, but in this case I say with superior intelligence comes great responsibility. Responsibility to share what they know, to let others see what they see in this world, how things work and to let them understand the world….Its more like they have a duty to do for the world even though there is no assurance that they will be recognized. I believe there is only two reason for this, firstly is the peoples cowardness to take this responsibility but nobody notices this because they themselves don’t admit this, don’t know that they are afraid, they always say that they are not good enough, that they are useless, though they know that there is no impossible things. They are just afraid of failures, afraid of being embarrassed, secondly, there are those people who are lazy who always takes things carelessly, but when they are between death and life situation, huh! Trust me they will never just sit and wait for nothing, sometimes they’ll be the one to have the best solution or plan. It’s just a matter of waking them up and taking them out of their lazy world……hahaha…..well, too much for that topic, em getting far to my semester break issue….hihi…

Whenever I reach the kitchen crawling like a snake I stand up using the table as my supporter since I’m not yet energetic for the day….and I think I will never be…I prepare sandwich (actually its instant..haha…) for my breakfast meal…but sometimes I will still lay dead on the floor waiting for miracle…after having my breakfast I usually proceed to the living room, why? Because the computer is located there… and the computer is the only one that keeps me company in this very little yet boring house…. Well, if there’s anyone who wants to experience living with me then you are very much welcome just be sure you know how to cook and to clean the house, I don’t want noisy people nor anyone that refuses to be touch…haha….em just kidding…I just want anybody who could be there for me, maybe not every time but at least she’ll be there when I needed her the most—most likely during nighttime (oops! Don’t get me wrong I just want a substitute pillow, one that is naturally warm).

My computer must be tired of me. I turn it on as soon as possible and it can only rest late at night when I’m done with it. Maybe you’re wondering what the heck am I doing in front of the computer for the whole day. Well, for the record I usually read comics at manga fox.com, watch anime’s at youtube.com and animethat.com, answering comments and messages at friendster.com (mostly from my group “advice corner” and “lesbian society…”) yes!, even I’m like this I can still give good advices to those who needs it. I do my blogs (but only when I feel doing so). Uh…I’m running out of words…

And that is my daily routine during school break……from morning to night….no lunch break and dinner…hehehe…

Oh! Well I usually sleep around 01:00 hrs. hehe….em I considered addict?…I think not coz there are still a lot of people who does things more than I do…

Friday, October 10, 2008

equilibrium film review

Summary

At the end of World War III, the world fell under the control of the leader who calls his self “the Father” and the Tetragrammaton: a government that outlaws all forms of arts, music, books, luxury and feelings—emotion. Citizens are forced to take drugs (prozium—a mind-altering drug that hinders emotion).However, "Sense Offenders": citizens who resist the laws and operate underground are continually at war with the Tetragrammaton. Cleric John Preston, an elite super-soldier whose mission is to hunt down and eliminate Sense Offenders with the help of a ruthless police force. One day, Preston accidentally breaks his morning dose of emotion suppressant drug and begins to feel. Soon, he begins sympathizing with the Sense Offenders and begins to understand the beauty of feeling... A beauty that the government, in which Preston spent his life serving, would like to see destroyed.

Reaction

I first watched this movie when I was still in high school, I can still remember what I first thought of it….I thought it was cool—being unable to feel anything and also because I think it would be better to not feel anger, sadness, pain and etc. in that way there wont be any misunderstanding between man its kind—there would be peace. But, now that I am mature enough to think of what the world might be without these feelings…uh! What a dull world we have: boring, without any tint of color, like a child will just die and his parents won’t even show any sadness or grief. This movie had me think of some of the human desires. The sense offenders wanted to set their emotions free, they wanted the world to see it—the beauty, but the government of Libria prohibits the showing of emotion because, for what I guess they have been afraid since the world war three struck the world, I think they also did it to save the human race from being extinct since there have been man versus man war for such a long time. I like the idea of being able to control the emotion of human being but never to suppress it using drugs and treat it as a deadly sickness. I hate it when I remember the scenes where the enforcers shot numbers of dogs; I can’t just sit and watch it like I don’t care. Without emotion people will be just like those dogs and the enforcers: killing each other mercilessly.

Physiology and psychology emotion

I like the words that many people use defining emotion: “emotion is the spice of life; it is an essential ingredient of life” well, it really does mean it. Ask yourself then, if you don’t believe it. Emotion is one of the important aspects of our behavior. It makes life more interesting, it colors your day. It differentiates today from yesterday.
Our body naturally reacts to our emotion. Or we can say that we call it emotion after interpreting our body’s response to a specific stimulus or situation. For example: you see an ugly dog staring at you and its teeth are gritting and it is definitely salivating and ready to jump after you. Your heart rate increased followed by your blood pressure and your hands and feet feel cold and you are sweating. With these physiological responds of your body your mind then interprets it ands then it gives you the conclusion that what you are experiencing is fear. I believe this is how the body and the mind interacts that results in emotion.
Emotion is hard to understand, hard to be studied. An emotion depends on how a person thinks, the age of the mind, maturity and also the environment where he grew. These factors affect emotions , that is why we can’t judge a person unless we know a lot about him.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

gray day

....today is a bit frustrating for me...I had my two hour exam in Philippine literature and...Oh! I must say....I hate that course from the very beginning of the semester...it makes me think of the past of those literary taboos which I never had any interest on....plus...I had this very annoying professor that for gods sake I wish salon's would never have his haircut hit on the top line of "in hairdo's"....but at least this will be the last day that me and my very annoying professor would meet since its already the end of the first semester...I don't have to bear all his damn stories about his family that he says is very disciplined as though they see to it that they maintain the Filipino customs that has been taught to him by his parents from his grandparents and so on....he always talk about his daughter that he believes is the most beautiful maiden in this world...I have seen his daughter a couple of times but in fact she isn't that pretty, its just that he always exaggerates everything he says about his family....sometimes I think of it ....what if my father is like that, will I be able to listen to his stories....well...I think if that would happen i would rather walk out of the house and party all night long....

....now I’m stuck here in the computer room of the library surfing and sometimes chatting with my buddy sitting beside me....he is Edu, sometimes I think of him as a cold blooded person, he acts weird, play all the internet games, browse on porn sites....he is a huge guy but not to mention he doesn't eat too much...he is too thrifty...no!?...well I guess he spends most of his allowance buying all those newly released online games...we're not that close so that is all I can say about him...I’m different from most of the students here in the university, in fact I guess not only most but all of them. I feel different in many ways, but I can’t tell what are they, the only thing I know is that I feel different....that's it...don’t ask me anymore. Period.

anyway....last year I had this very cunning young professor in analytical chemistry, he was not that handsome nor he has good body or height but I like him a lot maybe because of his intelligence ...he's like a walking encyclopedia, he knows all those laboratory procedures and besides being a professor he is also a student, student of medicine. see?...that is what I mean for saying that he is like a walking encyclopedia....ask him about science and you'll drown in his deep explanation, he will mention the atoms the molecular formula, weights, its properties and so on....until you find yourself just staring at his non stop talking mouth, with your jaw dropped down and flashed mind. i still remember that there was a day when I and my classmates doubted his manhood. hahaha....out of curiosity I asked him about him alone and then guess what i got as answer..."what’s wrong with being gay, anyway I never involved my personal life with work, so there’s nothing to worry about, do me a favor...keep this as a secret between the two of us..Eh?!" WOOOOOOw!!! That was a big blow in my head I never thought that is gay and to think of it I defended him against my classmates dirty talks. anyway to much with the gay talk...now back to reality.....as I was saying I am currently stuck here in the library waiting for my next class...actually its not just a simple class session because it is our final examination week but them I don’t think I can concentrate on reviewing so I just sit and relax.....if you are thinking of how will I pass...huh...just leave it to my buddy...he knows every little way of cheating....no!...I’m not saying that its Edu....its my other buddy....

COMMERCIAL: count the F's in this sentence. Count them once. Do not go back and count them again.

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Answer below:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Answer:

There are six F's in the sentence

If you find three, you are average

If you spotted four, you are above average

If five, you can turn your nose at most anybody

If you caught six, you are a genius.

...haha...if you think I am just average...hehe....sorry!!! Well......FYI (for your information) I spotted.......................................seven F's...hehe...can you believe that ...well....its up to you people...I am more than a genius...bwahahaha (evil laugh)

Looks like you had fun doing that commercial…..well; back to my life today…as I was saying my cheater buddy isn’t Edu….he is definitely not that kind of person…he has this principle that really bothers me….uhm…it goes like this…..do not be a cheater if you do not want to be cheated…..i think he got it from the golden rule….DO NOT DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO UNTO YOU…. right?!...the genius cheater that i'm relying to is Josef,he is a natural filipino but he look more than an arabian since he grew in saudi...he is a nerd in blood i think and like me he likes watching animes.....he is always updated in new technologies....he always see to it that he got one new gadget every month.....

ooops!!

Its almost time for my sociology exam….wish me luck….hahaha….i bet you will not wish me luck, because you don’t know me yet…uh….right I haven’t told you my name yet…..well just call me Raya...it means blood in ivatan dialect…I’m a Filipino typical student, I like watching anime, reading mangas…..ooops!! it stime to get my ass moving…..bye…bye….